The waiting game starts.

I hit 37 weeks pregnant yesterday.  And from here on out, I know that I could give birth at any time. My guess is that it will be sooner than later. Because I have a feeling this baby girl is more stubborn than her mama. Even if she takes after Dan, who is laid back, she will still be late. BECAUSE of being laid back.  At the same time, I still have hope that she will be a good girl and show up a little early. A little bit of hope....

I have, since the beginning of April, been experiencing some cramps off and on. Including some crappy ones this weekend and today.  As of our doc visit on Thursday, there was nothing happening, however, in the dilation department. So I feel like all of these cramps are in VAIN.  At the same time, I'm wondering if they are only there because she has dropped? Who knows. I just know I'm starting to get anxious and ready.

Today, the cramps were worse than yesterday when I woke up. Even with a heating pad, there was no making it feel better. I started feeling dizzy and nauseated. Took a Tylenol, which helped everything overall but have felt so fatigued. At about 3pm, the cramps returned. When Dan got home from work, we went for a walk. The longest walk I've been able to take in awhile. Maybe only .5 - .75 miles. Not long, but I definitely was NOT huffing and puffing any more.

I still feel fatigued. Crampy. But nothing is getting WORSE and there are no discernable waves that start getting worse. In fact, I only notice when it's already WORSE then it goes away. No other signs and symptoms of labor either. I haven't bothered calling the doctor...I did before because it was PRIOR to 37 weeks.

I just sit. And wait. And wait.

We have a midwife appointment tomorrow and hopefully she's made a little progress toward her escape.

A beautiful pregnant woman? Me?

Grr. Blogger is still refusing to import my Wordpress posts. There are like, what, 6?? Maybe?? I barely posted a thing from January through now. Whatever.  My posts are now gone from the internet and only contained in an XML file because I dropped my self-hosted Wordpress over a week ago. No worries. Moving on...

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Last weekend, my fabulous friend Rachael, who is also a fabulous photographer (and I mean, FABULOUS), came into town to take our maternity pictures.  Not everyone does maternity pictures. Some people don't feel they are necessary, some people do. My mother in law actually thought it was a strange concept. But I wanted amazing pictures to capture this time in our lives. We may not have any more than one child, so every moment I want to cherish. Not all moments have been cherishable, as you well know, in my opinion. Pregnancy has not been my most favorite thing on earth. So if a picture can capture for me....the beauty of it all...I want to have that picture.

And Rachael did an amazing job. I seriously was in tears (happy ones!) over these pictures. For the first time during my entire pregnancy, I felt beautiful. During the session...and especially AFTER when I saw the pictures.

I am so excited...I'm so happy to have this captured. And while I still don't love being pregnant...I finally appreciate the beauty of it.

I can't quit blogging it seems....

I attempted to go back to a self-hosted Wordpress site about 6 months ago...but I didn't even write anything really until January. And I find myself back at Blogger. TRYING the hardest I can to import the, what, 6 blog posts since January, but Blogger is being a butt head tonight. Not surprised. The world must be telling me that blogging is something I should give up for good.

And I keep thinking that I should. That I'm going to just go ahead and let go of it, but who am I kidding... The moment I decide FINALLY that I'm going to go ahead and let it go? I can't hit that delete button to get rid of everything.

Besides, I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my baby could potentially arrive at any point from here until my due date (or after if she wants to be a big fat pain in my rear end -- GET OUT OF THERE, GIRL!)...and I am probably going to want an outlet for whining and crying this summer as I adjust to my new life as a mom.

So...I can't delete blogging from my life entirely. Just like I could never get rid of Twitter. Or Facebook.  I love those things waaaaay too much....